Tag Archives: humor

Seriously, Seaworld, What ARE You Thinking?

Fullscreen capture 3292015 70438 PM seaworld
No_pants_No_Problem_by_Splounge seaworld
There is something about Seaworld’s latest campaign to argue against the facts presented in the film Blackfish that has seemed a bit over-the-top and irrational at times, but I have remained silent.  With all the recent changes going on in management there, I thought that the best policy was to give them a break, give them time to reassess their business model and – always hopeful – I believed that they would step up to the plate, reinvent themselves, and truly take a unique and important role in the serious issues that confront cetaceans in the wild.
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Unfortunately though, Seaworld continues to baffle the public and the animal welfare community with half-truths and distortions of fact. Are they really prepared to give us “truth without pants”? According to this article , Seaworld continues to dispense carefully crafted half-truths…so whether they are wearing pants or not, the truthiness of Seaworld’s statements is still questionable.
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Maybe their fashion sense is so…well…(words escape me)…that sharing without their pants is altogether preferable than standing before the world fully clothed and admitting that they have been wrong and made mistakes.whale_pant_grande_large seaworld
They are so busy protecting themselves that they can’t see that most people just want to see them change from an exploitative and manipulative company to an organization that is truly invested in preserving the well-being and the future survival of marine mammals. People want to love Seaworld again, they just need to know that the company has a new plan going into the future – one that is open, transparent, and sincerely has the animals’ best interest at heart.Cute-Whale-PP-Pants seaworld
Seaworld, please put your big boy/girl pants back on, admit the past failings and step into the future. We really don’t want to see you with your pants down, we just want to see your heart.

At Last, a Solution For Rising Ocean Levels! (Sunday Funnies)

“Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn’t happen.”  (Steven Wright).
Now why didn’t someone at the National Marine Fisheries Service figure this out?  We have taken too many sponges from the sea over the centuries with perilous consequences…

Quick!  Put them back!
Quick! Put them back!

They are beautiful!  (NOAA)
They are beautiful when alive! (Courtesy of NOAA)

Sponge biodiversity and morphotypes at the lip of our wall site in 60 ft of water. Included are the yellow tube sponge, Aplysina fistularis, the purple vase sponge, Niphates digitalis, the red encrusting sponge, Spiratrella coccinea, and the gray rope sponge, Callyspongia sp. Image courtesy of Cayman Island Twilight Zone 2007 Exploration, NOAA-OE.

sea sponge

Look at how much water they hold!

Dolphin Assisted Water Birth: A Near-drowning Experience? (Sunday Funnies)

309931_542087615833937_1019214537_nPeople are weighing in on an adventurous couple’s plan to give birth in the open ocean among dolphins, and by far most people think this is a very bad idea.

Pahoa – Adam Barrington, 29, and his pregnant wife Heather, 27, are heading to Pohoa, Hawaii, for a dolphin-assisted birth at the Sirius Institute. The institute describes itself as part of a Cetacean Commonwealth that wants to ‘dolphinize’ the planet.
According to the Charlotte Observer, at the institute, the Barringtons, “will spend time in the water, forming a connection with a dolphin pod they hope will bond with them and ultimately their newborn.” Digital Journal

The following comments are fairly representative of the hundreds on various articles:
“I lived in Pahoa and Kalapana for many years. Where does Heather think she’s going to give birth? At Kehena Beach? Big waves and far from emergency services. Will she give birth at Pohiki, where she might get run over by boats and surfers? At the hot ponds in Kapoho, with high levels of E. coli? Might want to give this some thought – East Hawaii has big waves and currents and sharks. It’s not Kona.
Pahoa – the land that time forgot.” Read more
JOHN92021 says:
“they get this from the Onion?”
EXCOP1949 says:
“Nonetheless, the Sirius Institute claims it receives up to four requests each week for dolphin-assisted birth. “People who are deeply called to be with the dolphins search widely and find us,” according to the institute’s website.
AnaGirl Empath ·
“If existing guidelines regarding acceptable practices in “swim with wild dolphins” excursions are unclear, perhaps it is time to better define and implement them. I do not necessarily think these activities are harmful in all circumstances. I think it is possible to have responsible diving events like this if the programs are passive; i.e., not forcing contact or pursuing pods relentlessly, and allowing the animals to approach on THEIR terms. Regarding the Black Sea births, this is a very different matter. I’ve researched this issue and it isn’t necessarily dolphin-focused. The women are near-shore, among rock depressions in warm, shallow waters, and have human midwives. It has been done for many years and is very respectful of both sea Life and the women/children involved. There are proven benefits of water births, and if dolphins happen to be nearby, I don’t necessarily see this as problematic. Expecting them to be “doulas” is another matter entirely, and I am concerned with the particulars of the Sirius Institute. Glorifying dolphins as some sort of divine, demigod-like, perfect beings is ridiculous.” TakePart
There are a lot of misconceptions however – the planned birth will not take place with bottlenose dolphins, nor will it be with animals kept in  captivity.
This video shows the type of dolphins (spinner dolphins) and habitat typical of the area where this couple plan to give birth. The water is not shallow, protected or all that warm, and tiger sharks are common.  The dolphins never stop moving for more than a minute or two, even during rest periods. (Video by the Wild Dolphin Foundation).

This video shows the only birth with dolphins that I’m aware of that has taken place, it occurred in captivity.

Unfortunately, medical evidence contradicts [the safety of underwater birth], and underwater births may in fact be dangerous to newborns. In a 2002 study published in the journal Pediatrics titled “Water birth: A near-drowning experience,” researcher Sarah Nguyen questioned the safety of water births and described instances of infants inhaling water and feces during underwater deliveries, which increased the risk of infection and pneumonia, among other complications. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists does not recommend water births, suggesting instead that children born in hospitals are safer — if for no other reason than professional medical help is immediately available in case of complications. Discovery

“The Earth will end only when God declares it to be over.” Representative John Shimkus, Ill. (Sunday Funnies)

So this is how education prepares children to be leaders of this great country (I couldn’t make this stuff up) – and faced with global problems requiring global solutions, are taught that God is going to wipe us off the planet anyway.
The America Blog has verified that this test is not a joke…
creationist-science-test oat
“Snopes has confirmed that a purported 4th Grade creationist school science test, making its way around the Web, is in fact real, and comes from a South Carolina Christian school.”
549151_624620300884425_1028854091_n oatWith that kind of education, it is no wonder that many people, finally having to accept that climate change is real, are taking the tack that we are doomed anyway, and will all die when God decides it is time…so why bother to change?
Opposing Views writes:
“In their study, titled “End-Times Theology, the Shadow of the Future, and Public Resistance to Addressing Global Climate Change,” David C. Barker of the University of Pittsburgh and David H. Bearce of the University of Colorado argue that citizens who believe in the end of days “often resist policies trading short-term costs for hypothetical long-term benefits.””

“[I]t stands to reason that most nonbelievers would support preserving the Earth for future generations, but that end-times believers would rationally perceive such efforts to be ultimately futile, and hence ill-advised,” Barker and Bearce wrote.
That sentiment is not just confined to average citizens. The chairman of the Subcommittee on Environment and the Economy, Rep. John Shimkus, said in 2010 that he opposed action on climate change because “the Earth will end only when God declares it to be over.”
According to the researchers, the results of the study indicate that the U.S. would probably not be taking any action on climate change when so many of its citizens, particularly Republicans, believed in the impending end of days, Raw Story reported.

There is much I am learning here in Hawaii in a workshop on ocean awareness that often reminds me that this small island in a big ocean is a parable to our small planet in a vast universe and we have to learn to live in balance in the world ecosystem- but it is Sunday Funnies so I’ll just leave you with this:

SeaWorld Thinks Trainers Won’t Get Hurt? Just Watch This… (Sunday Wish It Was Funny Category)

SeaWorld is still trying to convince the government that the amusement park can keep their workers safe in these conditions, good luck with that:

Maybe they have a plan to drug the whales, or give them lobotomies…the recent video below of Tilikum (the whale who killed several people) is reminiscent of the fate that befell the rebellious Jack Nicholson in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” when he crossed the wrong person and wound up with a lobotomy. Tilikum is actually probably just bored into this mind-numbing repetitious, neurotic behavior.

And by the way, you might wait to buy stock in SeaWorld when they go public soon -after the next trainer injury the value will plummet and you will be able to pick it up for pennies on the dollar.

Man Eating Sharks (Sunday Funnies)

Let’s face it, shark humor is dark humor. It is rooted in our fears and imagination…there is something very creepy when you are swimming in the ocean about the possibility that a toothsome shark could manifest ninja-like from the depths and decide to sample a bite – leg, torso, arm, it doesn’t matter- even if the shark decides to spit you out because it accidentally mistook you for a seal. All the same, you are bitten, maybe dead.
And it doesn’t matter what people tell you about the statistics, ask any survivor of lightening strike – the fact that the chances were slim hardly matters if it happens to you.
But what if you are a shark, swimming around looking for a seal or a fish to eat and you get netted, harpooned, or hooked? From that point of view, man-eating-shark (or rather humans-eating-sharks) takes on a whole new meaning.

The year 2011 saw a reported 12 shark deaths worldwide, the most since 1993, according to National Geographic.
By contrast, a new report estimates that humans kill 100 million sharks every year. The scientists behind the report, published in the journal Marine Policy, added that the number of sharks killed could be anywhere between 63 million and 273 million, staggering figures that experts say could drive many shark species to endangerment or even extinction. Huffington Post

Since this is Sunday Funnies I won’t get on the soap box about what we are doing to the oceans, I won’t talk about the role of top predators in keeping things in balance, and I won’t say that it is time we stop killing sharks for their fins or to sooth our fear.
I won’t say that at all.

The Scariest Thing in the Ocean is not Sharks (Sunday Irony)

When it comes to sharks, we may dedicate a week of TV programming to them but the simple fact is, we know so precious little about them. Much of their lives are a mystery.
So how to we go about saving them, if we don’t know all that much about them?” (Shark Savers)

Surging demand for shark fin soup is the primary cause of the devastating overfishing of sharks. The best way to lower demand is by educating consumers where consumption is the highest. Shark Savers’ “I Pledge” Shark Fin Soup campaign accomplishes this by collecting the personal testimonials of people who have stopped eating shark fin soup. This is the first in a series of multi-lingual films, PSAs, websites, printed materials, and billboards that are being produced and distributed in Hong Kong, China, Taiwan, Singapore, and the Chinatowns of the world. Learn more: sharksavers.org/sharkfinsoup